Standing in the queue to go through security at LAX, I realised I still had my deodorant in my bag. Like the sly fox that I am, I decided just to walk through anyway and let them confiscate it.
They didn’t. My bag made it through with no problems. Well, correction, the bag with the deodorant made it through with no problems. They were very interested in the other one. Not one, but three problems with it. Two cans of orange soda pop and my Gucci Envy fragrance. Not my Gucci Envy fragrance! I considered grabbing the Gucci and making a run for it, but it turned out to be under the weight limit anyway. Not so for my soda pop (which I’d forgotten were in there). The guy looked at me like an idiot and threw those out. They were yuck anyway.
And Paul? He got searched too. The reason? Too many books.
When we got to the plane I smugly sprayed on some of my Nivea Dry Impact For Men, feeling somewhat concerned about airport security, but somewhat awesome about my successful thwart. I can’t decide what to sneak on board next. I’m thinking either cocaine or a bomb.