We’re moving house in six days, and I’m putting my writing habit to good use by drafting a new ad each day until we move to help our landlords advertise some of the unique characteristics of the flat we’ve grown to love over the past five months.
The plain old lightswitch is so last century. This flat is fitted with state of the art lighting technology. All lights are programmed to turn off automatically after two hours, so you never have to worry at work that you may have left the light on. And if you’re not a morning person you’ll never have to worry about falling asleep in the shower again! After a comfortable eleven minutes, being plunged into darkness will ensure that you’re woken from your slumber in time for the train. Best of all, you never have to stumble in the dark from lightswitch to bed – this clever sucker requires 30 seconds of being held down to start flashing a red signal, and it’s three full minutes before the light actually goes out. Helpfully, just in case you forget that the lightswitch is right by the door (despite the fact that the streetlight right outside through thin curtains means the room is always well illuminated), there’s a ring of bright blue LED lights around the switch, guiding you to it like the bright lights of a runway.
|For those who don’t enjoy blinding blue LEDs on their bedroom lightswitch,
we’ve developed a helpful light-obscuring customisation from Blu-tack